


I give myself to you

by ForeverDoesntExist



Series: Eurovision Song Challenge [12]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Compromising, EurovisionSongChallenge, F/M, Finally, Fluff, Kruna, M/M, Making Up, Serbia - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:53:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23301952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForeverDoesntExist/pseuds/ForeverDoesntExist
Summary: It's time for the truth and compromises.(Sequel to Part 11)
Relationships: Javier Fernández & Sonia Lafuente, Javier Fernández/Yuzuru Hanyu, Javier Raya & Sonia Lafuente, Yuzuru Hanyu & Javier Raya
Series: Eurovision Song Challenge [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1620127
Comments: 5
Kudos: 39





	I give myself to you

**Author's Note:**

> For day 29 and final song I got: Serbia (2019) - Kruna by Nevena Božović
> 
> (Sequel to Part 11)

**The look of my love**

**The only thing that calms my soul**

**Oh I love you**

“Did you really do it?”

This time, Yuzuru didn’t have to lie. What else was there to lose?

But that didn’t stop him from answering before his mind had a chance to catch up with his fast tongue.

“You mean, did I spread my legs for Raya just like Sonia did for you?”

Javier rose from the bed instantly and almost blindly searched for his lost clothes thrown all over the room. It was clear that he was about to follow his threat through.

“Wait, stop!” Yuzuru almost jumped off the bed and before Javier had the chance to put his jeans back on, he wrapped his arms around him from behind in a feeble attempt to cage Javier against his chest. It was a desperate try to stop him from leaving, Yuzuru knew that.

Javier could probably shake him off easily and walk out on him, but he had to try.

Because Yuzuru also knew that his chance of making things right would be completely gone the moment Javier stepped out of that room. Javier hadn’t moved but he could still feel him tense up in his arms. It was now or never.

“I didn’t do it.”

It was enough to make the Spanish man in his arms to turn around and stare back at him, daring him to lie again. To take back those words and somehow tell him that he wasn’t serious. That Javier had been fooled once again.

Yuzuru met his eyes and begged him to believe his every word. There was no deceit behind them. Not anymore.

“Then why…?”

Why had he lied? Why had he hurt the only man he had ever loved?

Because things weren’t as easy as they used to be. Because they had reached a point where compromises had to be made and neither of them had known how to deal with it.

Because it’s easier to hurt the ones you love than to face yourself and your flaws.

But sometimes, that’s exactly how your relationship can grow. You find the cracks and all the wounds that you have inflicted upon each other and try to mend them before it’s too late.

“I wanted to hurt you. I was mad at you and me and I didn’t know what else to do,” Yuzuru told him.

“I did the exact same thing.”

Javier didn’t judge him. He wasn’t mad.

And somehow, to hear his pain laced reply made it all so much worse.

“What do you mean?”

“That morning when I said I had been with someone…I lied.”

_“A shame that you didn’t have such a great night as mine, but don’t worry I won’t go into details, it would be unfair after such a lousy fuck for you.”_

“Oh.”

For how long had they hurt each other like this? How easy had it been for them to just take each other to this level of emotional turmoil?

Yuzuru found himself almost scared by the power that Javier held over him, how easily he had torn him apart and put him together with just a few words. Did he hold a fraction of the same control over Javier?

“I was with Sonia yes, but then I kind of had a mental breakdown and we ended up talking all night. She knew what I needed was not sex,” Javier humorlessly laughed and Yuzuru felt like he could breathe again. He felt something akin to hope grow inside of him.

It would be completely fair if Javier had actually spent the night with Sonia. They weren’t together back then and he had insinuated that he would be doing the same with Raya, but the fact that Javier hadn’t gone through with it brought to him a selfish sense of relief. His imagination wouldn’t have spared him the ghost images of the two of them together, he would have nightmares about blood-red nails and Javier’s desperate moans that he thought nobody else would ever hear again besides him, forever.

“Good.”

Out of a sudden, Yuzuru wanted to hear him. To know that he was still the only one capable of turning Javier into a mess for him and only him. It was irrational and they still had to talk about whatever they would decide for their future.

But that could wait.

He pushed Javier down, back into the bed and crawled on top of his lap and, their positions now switched and Yuzuru taking control.

“It’s been too long.”

That much was clear from the way Javier quickly hardened again under him, with almost little work. He let out a labored breath as soon as Yuzuru’s own erection pressed into his sensitive clothed skin and before either of them noticed, both were almost close to completion. But this wasn’t enough, Yuzuru wanted to feel him, wanted to mark him as his own again.

Still, he waited for Javier to give him a signal that he also wanted this. That he still wanted him somehow.

Yuzuru would take anything he was willing to give him.

“I think I need you to remind me how you feel around me, again.”

That was all the encouragement that he needed. He quickly got off of him and he felt himself grow even harder at Javier’s displeased whine at the loss of contact, without any further ceremony Yuzuru slipped Javier’s boxers down his thighs and licked his lips at the sight. Yuzuru wanted him inside him but first, he wanted to remember how he tasted like in his tongue.

Javier smirked and sensing his urgency he sat up and took Yuzuru’s small hand in his, wrapped it around his aching cock and whispered into his lips, their breath mingling together and for once everything seemed just right, “I’m yours.”

**The night is long**

**Without you it’s sad**

**Give me your hand**

**Never let go**

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For not being good for you.”

Javier snorted and pulled him closer, they were both sticky and the bed was a complete mess but if Yuzuru hadn’t complained yet, then he wasn’t about to move either.

“I think we just need to…reach a compromise of sorts.”

He expected Yuzuru to jump from his place on top of his chest but he only hummed and kept playing with the few hairs he found there. A habit he had picked up over the years and that usually ended up with Javier shoving him off the bed when Yuzuru mockingly tried to pluck off his chest hair.

It felt normal. Like nothing had really been nothing but normal.

“I really never wanted someone else to touch me like this but Javi.”

To an extent, Javier knew that. He knew that his boyfriend wouldn’t let anyone lead him into their beds just like that. It hurt to watch him being in someone else’s arms yes, but he had been able to bear it for years, due to that single knowledge. Still, it felt good to be reassured about it.

Javier was aware that he couldn’t just ask Yuzuru to stop being who he was, to stop craving affection and attention, it was part of him. But surely they could figure out how to find a middle ground. They had faced so many worse things to just get where they were now.

“Before you came back, I felt so lonely,” Yuzuru buried his face into the warm skin under him as if to hide his face, but Javier could clearly feel the water pooling on his chest, “everyone around me told me to cheer up because they would keep me company just like you did and out of sudden I finally had friends. I thought that I could forget you and just…surround myself with people that claimed to love me.”

In the end, Yuzuru wasn’t alone in his guilt.

“I know that some of them are just pretending to tolerate me, but for once I could forget the reality: that if you left, I had nobody.”

Javier lifted his head so he could see his face and gently wiped the tears away from his porcelain skin, now slightly red from exertion here and there but still as perfect and soft as he remembered.

“I’m so sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

In a way, it was. Leaving Toronto hadn’t been an easy choice, he knew that Yuzuru hadn't been completely indifferent to him and to a degree they both shared the same feelings even if one of them would never really admit it.

It had been the end for him, but Yuzuru had been far from his own retirement. They had a choice to make and both of them had chosen the easiest one. A couple of years later when he decided to go back to Canada in order to save the love of his life from self-destruction, they still couldn’t make things right, and in the end, it took Javier a couple of shots and a surprise visit from Yuzuru for them to finally stop running from the inevitable.

But nothing is set in set in stone and actions have consequences. It was up to them to try to shape themselves around them or to just call it quits for good.

“I think I can slowly stop with the hugging and touching but I like the thrill of what comes after, though.”

_The thrill?_

“What do you mean?”

Yuzuru looked up at him and throwing both of his legs on either side of Javier’s thighs, he sat down on his lap as if he wasn’t aware of the instant effect he had on the man under him.

“I love the way you punish me when you are jealous.”

_The little shit._

Javier would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy punishing him as well. But in the long run, they would go back to zero and to what led Javier to break up with him in the first place.

Neither of them could go through that again. That much they had agreed on.

“I have an idea.”

Yuzuru was now obviously trying to get him on the mood again, and before he was completely lost in the feeling of the still-hot naked skin brushing against his now soft dick, Javier threw his proposition at him.

“What if, whenever you want me to punish you,” the way Yuzuru was softly riding him, just without enough friction to make him come undone under him was maddening and he struggled to get the words out, “whenever you want- you can just warn me beforehand.”

Yuzuru’s movements stopped abruptly and it took Javier every ounce of his will power to not just switch their positions and pin Yuzuru to the bed.

“Oh, I like that.”

Javier could feel Yuzuru’s hands slowly guiding his member back into his warmth and, once more, Javier surrounded himself to him.

Because it was that easy. Because it felt right.

Things weren’t quite perfect yet but if there was one thing they both believed in, was that somehow, somewhere in time, they would be.

“I like that very much.”

**Everything for you**

**I give myself to you**

“I think I need to apologize.”

Yuzuru hadn’t talked to Raya in a while now. He had tried to catch the Spaniard alone but he never quite managed to do so and he knew time was running out for both of them, one last show and they would all go home and probably not see each other for another year or more.

What he didn’t expect was for Raya to apologize.

“Why?”

“That night, I should have stopped you”

_I should have been the one to stop myself._

“Let’s just forget about it,” Yuzuru offered him a way out, as the discomfort was written all over Raya’s face, his eyes however switched between Yuzuru’s face and the figures already warming up on the ice, “Wait are you worried about Javi?”

“Of course not,” from their place near the boards, Yuzuru could spot Javier watching them from afar and Raya quickly changed his mind, “okay maybe a bit.”

Yuzuru had already asked Javier to not confront Raya about that night since it had been entirely his fault, Raya had been a good friend to him and whatever might have happened was solely on him. Javier had agreed but had whined all the way back to his own room, until Yuzuru had shut him up with a promise of something he couldn’t refuse if he behaved.

“Well, I already explained everything to him so it’s fine, really.”

“Still, I just needed to say it. It was not right of me to even think about it, you were vulnerable and I should have stopped you right away.”

_Damn Spaniards and their sweet mouths._

“Thank you.” Yuzuru threw caution away and hugged the taller skater, Raya was worth the price of not walking the next morning. “You are a good man, go get her.”

**Let the world hear me now**

**I’ll protect you with my life**

**Let everyone see us now**

**Everyone knows that forever**

**I am yours**

“They are so disgusting.”

Sonia couldn’t help but smile at the silly display in front of them. Javier had picked up Yuzuru bridal style and for whatever reason decided to spin them around.

It didn’t look very safe, but then again, being good at skating didn’t quite guarantee intelligence, in her opinion.

Otherwise, the two of them wouldn’t have gone through such a dumb argument in the first place.

“At least they are happy.”

“Too happy.” It was like they had managed to look even more disgustingly in love after the whole drama. “They make me feel so single.”

Raya sighed but agreed on that. It was worse than before like somehow they managed to glow around each other. At least Yuzuru glowed, Javier just looked like a fool in love and completely whipped.

Nothing new.

“Did you and Yuzu really…?”

“Nope, thank God.”

Sonia nodded and patted his back, “It would have been so awkward if you had.”

“I wouldn’t be able to talk to Javier again. But that’s what happens when you are trying to get over someone I guess.”

“As if Yuzu would ever get over him.”

_You really don’t know, do you?_

“Yuzuru wasn’t the only one getting over someone that night.”

Sonia took her eyes away from the couple in front of them and turned her full attention to Raya, “Who were you…?”

Raya wasn’t much about complicated situations and big gestures. He liked simple and meaningful things and once he sees an opportunity, he grabs it.

He never quite understood why people made a fuss about the smallest of things, so many lost opportunities and chances because people just didn't make up their minds. He had learned the hard way that sometimes you have to be bold or you won't get a second chance.

“Sonia, would you like to have dinner with me after the show?”

**The crown is yours**

**My love**

**I want you to know**

**It belongs to you**

“Sonia says we're destined to grow old together and get like ten kids.”

Yuzuru snorted and threw himself on top of the bed. The tour was finally over, no more dancing around, no more choreographies. He could finally rest and take some time for himself before the season, and that meant getting on a plane to Spain to meet his in-laws again.

“Not ten, but maybe two?”

He could picture it. A boy looking just like Javi with soft curls and kind eyes and a girl that could perhaps look a bit like him, just a bit, so they could drive Javier mad and bend him to their will.

That would be nice, but the future was always unknown. He would take any surprise that life decided to throw at him.

As long as he had Javier.

“That seems good, my mother would like that,” between Yuzuru’s mother and Enriqueta, he knew they would spoil the kids rotten, “but if we have one that is going to end up being a mini-you, then I won’t reach fifty.”

Yuzuru looked up and threw a random pillow at Javier’s face, “Oh please, they would be adorable.”

A mini him would be something either terrifying or amazing, he knew he wasn’t an easy person to deal with so he couldn’t begin to imagine what it would be like to raise someone with a similar personality. No, they would have two mini Javiers. He was sure of it.

“What do you think about Hiroto?” Yuzuru asked him.

“You already thought about baby names?”

“Two weeks after we started dating I already wanted to have your babies.”

Javier was on his way to take a well deserved hot bath and out of a sudden, his shampoo bottle fell to the ground with a loud thud and Yuzuru laughed at his reaction. It was endearing how Javier was still amazed whenever Yuzuru expressed his feelings for him so openly.

“Kinda hard to have my babies but…why Hiroto?”

“Because it means _to fly far._ ”

The way Javier’s eyes softened didn’t go by unnoticed and somehow it made Yuzuru believe that they could have this. That one day he would get to have a family.

No more debts to others.

Nothing else to prove.

That he was able to live for himself at some point in time.

“Very fitting, I like it. But you know what else I would like? If you showered with me.” Javier cunningly asked, trying to lighten the mood.

This was a conversation for another time. Another battle yet to come.

**Everyone knows that forever**

**I love you**


End file.
